Downright Scary

You may remember the scary invitation to a February birthday luncheon from a retirement residence I'd never heard of?  Then yesterday I logged on to my checking account to find a cordial Happy Birthday greeting from J. P. Morgan Chase.  The answering machine holds best wishes from the guy who sold me a new car last week (smallest four-door I could find and it comes in yellow.) 
And I finally decided to complain to you when I pulled up my email to face the lovely cake shown below with greetings from "your Allstate agent."
I suppose, come to think of it, this has probably happened to all of you.  Though when I took the income tax stuff to the CPA, he bragged that clients complain they can't even find him on the Internet, and he intends to keep it that way.  Quite an achievement! If true.
Anyhow, I stole these from dozens of warnings available on Google: